My angel Kendall Leigh

In your life you will meet people who puts a smile on your face, you laugh together with them and you love them... 

                                                               Kendall Leigh Sparkman


For me, I met that person 15 years ago when I left Norway to go to America as an au-pair. I came to a city named Modesto and there I met two girls, a boy, a mom and a dad whom I was to live with for a year.

I was going to take care of these three children, love them as they were my own siblings and I have to say that to this very day, I think of them as my siblings. The days were filled with laughter, trust, love, fun as we grew close.

They taught me respect, to love each other no matter what, we are who we are... Their parents became my parents away from home and together we lived as a family.

As the year went by, departure came too soon but I had to go back to Norway; but as it was meant to be... I came back and stayed another year... We had two years together as a family from home and it was THE best two years of my life... I changed after these years living with this special family...

Moments like Halloween; trick or treat, play dates, Christmas when Tigger came to stay... Disney world on ice, The Nutcracker, camping, comets, birthdays, Valentine Day, going places, streets flooding, Disneyland, Lake Tahoe, SF.,.. I can go on and on.... But I just mentioned just a few moments as there were many...

Another year came to an end, it was time to move on... I moved on; going back to school and pursue an education... Kendall, Briann, Connor also moved on but we never forgot each other;

I can still remember the day when everything changed... I had this feeling... like something was going to happen... Though I couldn't figure out what.. I just knew... The telephone rang, mom answered and as I heard her talk English; I smiled as I thought it was my family away from  home who called... As I heard her say Janet... I wondered 'why is she calling me...' I came to the phone and I heard her tell me something that you can never be prepared for...

My younger 'sister' Kendall Leigh had passed away; only 8,5 years old... Tears fell down my cheeks as I listened... I asked her to tell my 'parents' and my other two 'siblings' that my heart went out to them, I was thinking of them and that I loved them so much... She did and just a few days later, I talked to my 'mom' and 'dad' and just listening to the pain in their voices when we talked about Kendall, broke my heart...

We talked a few days later and then it was arranged for me to come back for the summer to visit... but also allowing my heart to heal; but 15 years later... it hasn't healed fully... It never will... But we can move; never forget but remember what were...

Arriving in Modesto that summer in 1999 was weird... I was excited but also very sadden as I was entering a home in mourning... As I walked through the front door; I heard voices 'is she here...' and then feet that ran down the stairs and into my hands flew two children... I caught myself looking over my shoulder and I was looking for her... It was then it hit me.... She will never do that again; I will never feel her hugs ever again... And it struck me how weird it was to be able to hold my arms around two children... as I could remember them all three trying to sit on my lap... I thought of it with a smile and looked down on the children and hugged them tightly.

I am forever grateful that I was able to come that summer; as it was meant to be for me to stay with this family, it was also meant to be for me to stay with them that summer; only 4 months after her passing...

I will never forget her smile, her laughter, her butterfly kisses, her questions about me, the world and everything in between... I know she is up there looking down at us who knew her, loved her and I forever hold her close in my heart as she was such a special and precious girl.

In her own words:
~ I love how the sky is blue, 
    and the horses run free and 
    how all living things are 
    deep down in my heart ~


My dear Kendall Leigh, you left us too early... It is hard to comprehend as we have to go on with our lives. 12 years have passed but it still feel like it was yesterday... Words can't express our grief but we have to try...

I love you so much as I never thought possibly I could love a human being; and as I see your parents, your sister and brother plus your family... I am saddened as we talk about you; their eyes become sad and I know their heart is aching but also hurting...  Sleep well my angel and Happy 21 st birthday my munchkin :)